Instead, I thought I'd stick to my strengths and write about more light-hearted fare. Though this site has been referred to in many prominent blogger periodicals as a "triumph of triviality," I prefer to think of it as a celebration of the small things. And it doesn't get much smaller than that most cult-favorited of candies, Nerds.
The particular Nerds sampling I would like to review today is a box of Apple-Coated Watermelon slash Lemonade-Coated Wild Cherry nerds of the "double-dipped" variety. I purchased the Nerds at the Ninth Street Presto! gas station in Lawrence (the one where the gas leak took place a year or two ago). The sun-faded yellow and red box suggested a long shelf life, but the taste was anything but stale.
The red Nerds were at once tart and sweet, and small enough to qualify as crunchy. The much larger yellow Nerds felt like eating boulders by comparison, though they were no less sweet to the taste.
As sweet as the experience of eating these Nerds was, the art on the box was even more spectacular. The image, a colorful illustration of young Nerds frolicking lakeside, recalled 19th century frescoes of the gay bathhouses of France, in spirit as well as form.
In short, the double-dipped experience supports the theory that -- culinary, spiritually and sociologically -- Nerds have more fun.
In other exciting Nerds news, Nerds Ropes are now 2 for a dollar at the Apple Market on 47th Street in Westwood, Kansas. What is a Nerds Rope? It is a licorice-ish sticky candy rope thing with a bunch of multicolored Nerds stuck to it. A bizarre but beautiful piece of candy, Nerds Ropes resemble an Everlasting Gobstopper in texture and color. Unfortunately, they don't last forever, but neither does anything truly good in this world.
At one point I thought it would be funny to write a story about a kid who hung himself with a Nerds Rope, but that actually seems kind of morbid, and besides Nerds Ropes aren't long or sturdy enough to play hopscotch with, much less form into a noose. I guess the story could end on a happy note, though. The kid could always just eat his way through it. Which is exactly what I recommend doing when the going gets rough or the news gets depressing. Nerds, Dweebs, Tart'n'Tinys, you name it. That Wonka stuff works wonders.
until soon,
LHW
6 comments:
There was a time in my life (a time of possibilities)when I could list my favorite pastimes as: playing Tecmo Bowl, watching TMNT, listening to Boyz II Men, and dumping an entire box of grape-flavored Nerds into my mouth. Oh 2003, I hardly knew ye. It should also be noted that Nerds Rope does not suffice as a dog leash.
The scene pictured on the nerds box is very similar to the reality Luke and I experienced at Clinton Lake while eating the aforementioned Nerds. Water-skiers, frisbees, the beach, infiltration of the Red Nerds into the Yellow, the Red Sea parting....
Do yourself a favor and click on the picture for a close-up of those unforgettable Nerd's swim trunks in HD.
Also, please remember to give a tiny pinch to the Nerd's rope before purchasing. A stale rope makes for a sorry sweettooth.
I never noticed until clicking upon the picture that Nerds do not have arms -- and yet that still does not stop them from playing with beach balls
"luke, luke, luke, lucubrations."
(to be sung to the tune of "good vibrations" by the beach boys)
ha! that beach boys song is better than the one I heard the neocons were singing -- the tune of "barbara ann" with the words "bomb iran" put in instead
Wow. Thanks for warning me about "Nerds candy." I'll be sure to avoid eating them.
When are you coming out with your reviews of Kentucky Fried Chicken, McDonalds french fries, Cherry Coke, Snickers and homogenized milk? I'm biting my fingernails in anticipation!
By the way, I had a neighbor who hung himself with Nerds Rope. It was really sad. The rope broke and he impaled himself on a sharp candy cane.
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