Don't Feed the Giant Bunny

My family has left me and gone to Mexico. Evenings this week you can find me on Adams Street sipping on assorted beers, bottled waters and flat sodas, pacing around the backyard, tossing Frisbees and listlessly lighting tiki-torches.

I shouldn't complain, though. I did get to do some serious travels last weekend. Jennifer and I went to Big Brutus, the 11-million pound steam shovel and the second largest electric shovel in the world, located in the quaint hamlet of West Mineral, Kansas (I'm pretty sure there's a bitter rivalry with East Mineral, but I didn't spend long enough in Cherokee County to confirm this).

Big Brutus is indeed big. In fact, it's enormous. Unfortunately, you can no longer climb out on the 150-foot-long boom, where people with mullets used to get married, according to the short informational video shown in the museum. Brutus, in case you were wondering, did not dig coal. The bucket removed dirt and rocks covering coal seams and was operated from 1962 to 1973, when the thing was finally retired due to the drop in coal prices and a monthly electric bill of over 27,000 dollars. You can learn more about Brutus and buy some nifty souvenirs at www.bigbrutus.org.

These are a couple of our close friends playing in the dipper...

Actually I don't even know those kids -- some lady named Rosemary posted this picture on her blog and I thought it was so sweet I'd reproduce it here. Rosemary also took this picture of the Webb City Praying Hands monument. I got lost here one time. Also, there is absolutely no sledding allowed at Praying Hands, especially in the summer.



Praying hands are not the only oversized thing you'll find in this part of the world, however. While skirting the Oklahoma border we came across this former parachute shop that is the home to a bunch of run-down cars, statues and a giant bunny rabbit. More pictures here.



If you'd rather check out footage of more remote and mountainous territory, the New York Times' "Frugal Traveler" has posted a video of his hikes through the Harz region of Germany, which my friends know I am semi-obsessed with even though I have never been there. The part where Frugal Traveler encounters a guy in the middle of nowhere clearing fields so he can shoot wild boars from a lookout tower is pretty special.

While I'm linking, I'd like to encourage you to check out this viral video posted and analyzed by reporter/raconteur J. "Scoop" Tucker. I thought the "Crazy Titch vs. Dizzee Rascal" battle was intense, but that's nothing compared to Eli Porter vs. Envy.

On top of my playlist lately are a pair of Scandinavians and two bands from San Francisco. For tunes by Pugh, Lau Nau, The Ohsees, visit the lukebox. To hear some stuff by the Sic Alps, who I saw this week at the Pistol, check out www.sicalps.com. This is a band I can heartily endorse, not just because I like experimental psychedelic rock from the Bay area, but also because they deleted their MySpace page -- perhaps the last act of rebellious negation that exists for today's rock and roller.

More soon.

LW

But Mrs. Andratti, isn't it true that everybody's being uptight about those freaky chromosomes?

These are difficult questions

Remember the pilgrim

Excuse any sassiness or unpleasantness of tone in the last post. I'd just taken my first stroll down Electric Avenue (KC Live, Power & Light, whatever the hell it's supposed to be called) and I wasn't quite sure what to make of the whole thing. Initially I was just relieved that they let me in with just my blue v-neck tee and flip-flops. The place was pretty cool, in that it's outside and crowded, but I don't know that I'll be going back anytime soon. The music is the same tired playlist I've been hearing at frat bars and skating rinks since the beginning of time (or at least 1986). And the DJ up in the booth didn't even have a Mac. He had a Dell.

But I do wish downtown the best, even if its new bars and fancy backdrop don't interest me in the slightest. It's trying its hardest, much like the sub-par/past-her-prime beauty who slaps on too much makeup in hopes that people will notice her again. Just flash a sad smile and walk on by.

The light rail thing, on the other hand. Now that could be fun, especially if they allow you to carry drinks around the way you can at Power & Light. I'll definitely ride it around and I'm sure lots of other people will, too.

I drive around as much as anyone, and it's hard not to feel a slight bit of panic or at least anxiety about skyrocketing gas prices... But after I watched this lady struggle to see over the dashboard of her giant land-cruiser the other day in the Half Price books parking lot, oblivious to the cars whose paths she was blocking, I found it hard to muster up too much sorrow about the twilight of our gas-guzzling glory days. It'll be uncomfortable not to have the same cheapness of mobility we've always enjoyed, but on the other hand, good riddance to all the diminutive Hausfraus powering along in their "urban combat vehicles," as my track coach King Karl used to call them.

King Karl also once said, in the middle of class, "By the time you guys are my age you'll be running around with a computer up your butt telling you what to do every 14 seconds." If you look at the advances in hand-held technology, I think he might have been right -- mostly. Another, perhaps more accurate, way to look at it would be to say, "By the time you guys are my age, you'll be running around telling a computer what you did every 14 seconds." All of you with twitter accounts probably know what I'm talking about.

Still, there's something to be said for regularity, and one of my old years resolutions was to either cancel this thing or post on a regular basis. So I'm going to try and do that, although the regularity will probably cancel out any coherence I might have achieved when this blogging thing was still a bright new country and not some tired electronic wasteland. We'll still have fun, as long as some of you comment once in a while. I don't ask for much, like real names or anything of substance, so what's the harm?

Well it's almost midnight so I'm going to finish up my Shock Top Belgian-style ale, brought to you by the St. Louis InBev subsidiary, Anheuser-Busch (don't get all up in arms, St. Louis factory workers, I didn't realize what I was buying until it was too late -- I just saw the logo of the orange peel with the mohawk and I couldn't resist).

If any of you see King Leopold's ghost paddling down the Mississippi, throw a drink on him for me.

In the meantime, check out this amazing series of deconstructed toys put together by whiz-bang designer Matt Kirkland, my old roommate at the hallowed halls of Grace Pearson.

Lover what you started now that you parted

Friends,

Not sure who still reads this. Apologies for my long absences. Life is so busy these days. And it's so hot outside. Definitely not blogging weather. As the old proverb goes, "drink iced tea while it's hot -- leave sagacity to the fall."

I will get back in the swing of things here. Probably. Perhaps. I get married in less than a month and then I leave town for about that long so there is a lot to do.

I heard some Funkadelic at the bar tonight. The same old bar I go to most Fridays, where there's only one bartender, no doorman and the enthusiastic discombobulated DJ spins soul/funk 45s on a single turntable. The Funkadelic track was something off "America Eats Its Young," I think, which in my high school days struck me as a funny title but nowadays strikes me as all too true.

I wonder what I'm still doing here, sometimes. I've lived elsewhere before. Before I had a blog, I actually traveled quite a bit and did things which at them time did not seem suitable for Internet postage. That's always sort of been the challenge with this site -- to keep it local and still keep it interesting. I think I've got at least one more year left. After that all bets are off.

The beat, however, must go on. And to that end I have added quite a few more tracks on the lukebox, accessible here. Plug in and enjoy. Or ignore and go about your business. All the same to me. But whatsoever I play, it's got. to. be. fun. kay?

love and kisses,

L.D.H.W.

I Could Never Fight A Cat Like That

I thought back about the last post a little while ago and decided it really didn't have much of a point. Although that hasn't stopped me from posting more than my share of shaggy-dog stories in the past, yesterday's gator photo-sequence was worthwhile only for its exposure of what really goes on in America's zoos.

But don't worry, fair readers, friends and spam-bots: There are no gators in the KC sewers, and if they do show up here they arrive at night, peaceful-like and made of plywood.

In more somber animal news, a legendary Midtown feline passed away last week. Ronald Reagan -- a black-and-white house cat that at 30 pounds was an outright colossus -- died last week at the age of 10. Ronald was my neighbor's cat for the past 2 years or so. He was already in possession of his presidential name when my friend adopted him. In fact all we knew about Ronald's early years was that they were almost entirely spent in the back rooms of a Kansas City BBQ joint. I'm not even kidding.

So Ronald is gone from the apartment building, and from this life, but I'm sure I'll still picture his sleek but massive frame in the first-story window, head raised, hair spiked and stuck together after a flea bath, sitting with all the street-tough aplomb of a brooding, self-grooming prize-fighter; fat has hell and fully aware he's in a class by himself.

So so long, Ronald Reagan. It's goodbye all over again.

I have a long and involved history with gators

"A day in the life of a zookeeper" by Natalya Bond


Gator jockey


Face 2 Face

Mad is sun

Madison is a nice town and a good place for 4th of July fun. Pictures courtesy of Natalya.

(Welvis says this looks like time travelin and Welvis knows what he is talkin about)

Pi

Liz's art opening is at 6 tonight at the Pi Gallery, right next door to Grinders. If you can't swing by tonight, her art will be up for another two weeks or so.

Fairer Sex Last Show

Tonight at the Taproom, with the Roseline. Should be fun.

Thak your lucky stars

If I want a bit of local news, I read the Kansas City Star. If I want some cheap entertainment, I read kansascity.com. As the paper itself has surely figured out, the comments section takes on a life of its own, often superseding the story itself in terms of excitement and even informativeness. Take, for example, this comment left on yesterday's story about police killing a gunman in Swope Park (my disc golf park of choice). The comment -- left in all-caps by someone named S/S -- is worth quoting in full. Citizen reporting doesn't get any more riveting than this.

I WAS JUST PASSING THE STOP LIGHT AT GREGORY AND JACKSON, WHEN A TAN SEDAN FLEW AND I MEAN LITTERALLY FLEW PASSED ME HEADING INTO SWOPE PARK AT A SPEED OF NO LESS THAN 70 MILES PER HOUR, I COULD SEE HIM PASSING, WEAVING IN AND OUT OF TRAFFIC, BY THE TIME I REACHED THE TURN TO THE ZOO, I COULD SEE HIM TURNING THE CORNER TOWARDS OLDHAM. WNEN I WAS GETTIG READY TO TURN THE LAST CORNER TOWARDS HILLCREST,I SAW HIS CAR, IN THE TREE, FRONT END STEMING AND CRUSHED, I DID STOP, THERE WERE SEVERAL OTHER CARS ALREADY THAT HAD ALSO STOPPED 3 OF THEM FROM WHAT I SAW ON THERE CELL PHONES, I ASSUMED THAT THEY HAD ALREADY CONTACTED THE POLICE. TO MY AMASEMENT,JUST AS I WAS REACHING FOR MY PHONE AND THE CAR DOOR, THE MAN OPEND THE DOOR OF HIS WRECKED CAR, GOT OUT WITH A SHOT GUN IN HIS HAND, STAGGERED, STRAIGHTENED UP AND MARCHED STRAIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. NOT SURE WHAT TO DO, I DECIDED THAT I HAD TO GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE AS FAST AS POSSIBLE, AND OPTED TO QUICKLY PASS HIM.
THIS MORNING I HEARD WHAT HAD ACTUALLY HAPPEND YESTERDAY EVENING, AND THAK MY LUCKY STARS THAT I GOT OUT OF THERE. GLAD NO INNOCENT BY STANDERS GOT HURT.

Belgian Red

Each bottle of New Glarus' Belgian Red contains one pound of cherries. I brought a few bottles back from Wisconsin, so if you want to give it a try you'd better give me a call very soon. Or else just drive to Wisconsin yourself and pick up a case. This beer has won a lot of awards. It is very tasty and only costs $7.49 at Festival Foods in Oshkosh.

Hanging Around

Yeah, I'm still around.

It's still raining here and I keep making the mistake of sitting in the one lawn chair I didn't dry off, so I thought I'd better come inside and type a quick catch-up note before my stylish gap shorts get soaked all the way through.

I'm heading out tomorrow on a road-trip to Wisconsin. I plan to hit Madison for the 4th of July, where I've received an offer to eat a watermelon full of some kind of liquor and walk around various bodies of water to watch (and participate in) fireworks displays. After that, a short drive to Oshkosh for Wade's wedding reception, then a return route through Chicago where I will hopefully connect with James & James, one of whom will likely be held up at roman candle-point for a mix-tape.

But first, a shout out to Canada. Tuesday was Canada Day, and from my (admittedly limited) experiences in the Northern provinces, "Canada Day" is a cultural observation and spirited party that often stretches over several days and nights, drawing to a full close only at dawn on the 4th of July.

If you're staying close to town, don't miss Toby Terrance opening for 4th of July and Archetype at the Replay in Lawrence. Also opening Friday night is Liz Gardner's show at the Pi Gallery next to Grinders in the Crossroads. She'll have some new larger paintings and textile creations on display along with a fresh installment of the pocket-sized pieces, accompanied by some of my haiku. There will be a reception on Friday the 11th, which I'll likely post a flier for, but her art will be up starting this weekend.

What else...Work has been enjoyable and busy, and there are a number of creative projects in the works (I'm not trying to be cryptic, but I want to be in bed by close to 3).

The Shakespeare in the Park performance of Othello was pretty solid. In that natural outdoor venue, the line between audience and stage can get kind of blurred, and that combined with some convincing acting made me want to hop on stage and throttle Iago before his deceit incurred a body count. But history can not be altered, and it would be rather rude to interrupt a play.

So let's see...That's about it for tonight. I'll continue to maintain a blog here until I get a proper Web site, which is in the very earliest stages of research and development. (If I get lucky I might even try to enter it in the non-traditional category of Shawnee Mission Schools "R&D" Forum, but that's unlikely, because there is no non-traditional category, and besides I would be no match for grade schoolers when it comes to Web design. To be honest, I don't really even know how to use the Facebook!)

Things that I will continue to post here: useful information for the informed and classy Kansas Citian. For example, Royal Liquors on State Line has 4 or 5 quality varieties of Vinho Verde, all for under 10 dollars. Also, the New York Deli does a wicked pastrami/baby swiss/spicy mustard on pumpernickel as well as some delicious mohn pastries.

Things I likely won't blog about just yet: my growing fascination with the former ferries along the Missouri and Kansas Rivers, especially the olde watering hole/din of ill repute known as "Pensineau's Trading House." The above photo of me swinging over the Big Muddy was taken near the former location of Pensineau's place. Photo credit as usual to jennybros.com.

Speaking of, for those friends who have not yet heard, Jennifer and I will be jumping the proverbial broom in less than two months time. Much left to plan, but it will be fun.

So Aunt Margaret, break out your dancing shoes.

The rest of you, Happy Independence Day and I hope to see you soon.

LDHW

P.S. Thanks Teresa for mailing the swim suit and jelly beans. Much appreciated.