spring and all

Spring is here, and that calls for some new music, haiku, photos, anecdotes and updates about some of the tumultuous events sweeping the region.

The end of March was a catacylsmic time for people on either side of State Line. The week opened with this story about two men in Kansas City who drove around in an ice cream truck shooting at people. My fellow blogger Mabel and I thought this would be the ice cream pun-prone story that would catapault us to blogging superstardom, but after mentally running through all the requisite David Lee Roth, "I scream/you scream/we all scream for ice cream" and "Pop Goes The Weasel" jokes, we realized that, geez, guys with guns driving around in an ice cream van is actually sort of terrifying. But please don't let that stop you from chiming in with any jokes of your own.

On Wednesday night I thought I saw someone cruising through the QuikTrip parking lot on a wheelchair built of spare parts from my stolen bicycle, but my eyes were playing tricks on me.

In perhaps the strangest local news story I have read all week, government biologists have been trying to eliminate the feral pig problem by flying over Clinton Lake and gunning the disease-spreading animals down from their helicopter. So far this year, a statewide total of 257 hogs were killed by air and 75 were trapped and killed. If you thought the police presence was bad for Wakarusa Fest, put yourself in these animals' shoes. At the end of the news story, which also features a video, a man who lives near the lake mentions that there is still one 500-pound boar on the loose.

"Most of these are ugly as sin but somehow I'd say this has gotten to be kind of a pretty one," he said.

No matter how disruptive these boars may be to the area, the aerial swineicide taking place in my home state has inspired me to head out to Clinton to hold a special vigil. This will take place next weekend at the half-submerged picnic table just downhill from the outlook point, and will probably consist of some banjo-strumming, frisbee-tossing, and maybe the ceremonial lighting of a stundenbrenner.

Today's last tribute to the piggies comes to us in the form of a song by a renowned British pop group. No, it's not off the White Album, it's the Suede single Where The Pigs Don't Fly from their b-side collection, Sci-Fi Lullabies. It's sort of a spaced-out Brit-pop answer to "Somewhere Over The Rainbow." And if you listen to the lyrics closely, you'll find a reference to a stolen ice cream van.

Born to Adagio

On a cultural note, Jennifer and I went to the Kansas City Symphony last weekend for a performance of Mahler's Fifth. The performance, conducted by Isaac Stern's son Michael, was even more splendid than we expected. It's always a thrill to watch the musicians play, especially one of the first violinists, who was great with child. After Jennifer pointed this out to me, I said "Wouldn't it be neat if the lady gave birth in the middle of the performance -- and not just that -- what if the baby was born with a Suzuki violin in its hand and arrived just in time to play along with the Rondo Finale (in D major)?" I, of course, was greatly amused with this hypothetical scenario, but Jennifer found it distasteful, and in the end we both agreed it was unlikely.

Big Star, even Bigger Toad

Just because I have a keen appreciation for high culture, I don't want you all to think I've given up on the rock and roll. In fact, if you show up in a few hours to the Eight Street Taproom, you might catch me headbanging and playing harp along with the great pop-rock outfit Ghosty, who is doing a Big Star tribute tonight. If you can't go then, go see them play as themselves tomorrow at the Record Bar. And if you happen to work for a major label, you should sign them up and send them to Australia, where the World's Largest Toad has requested they perform as part of his "Check Me Out I'm A Frog The Size of a Dog" festival this summer.

Songs for Spring

In honor of the recent equinox and the official arrival of spring, here are a few songs to sweep you sweetly into a spring fever.

-- Spring Is Here by Dave Longstreth of the Dirty Projectors
-- The Seasons Reverse, by Gastr del Sol, which was Jim O'Rourke and David Grubbs. The other favorite tune on this 1998 album, Camoufleur, is the last one, Bauchredner
-- If you like Jim O'Rourke's fingerstyle playing, you'll certainly appreciate John Fahey's "When The Springtime Comes Again," a lovely instrumental number from his 1963 album, "Death Chants, Breakdowns and Military Waltzes."
-- Finally, no rainy season would be complete without at least one listen from the Marmalade classic, "I See The Rain," which even Jimi himself greatly enjoyed.

Hoops sorrow, and the heroic scooter scramble of Tim and Stepp

Oh, yes. In my spirited embrace of spring, I don't want to pretend last Saturday's b-ball heartbreak didn't happen. I watched the game in Lawrence, and the atmosphere following the elite eight loss could probably best be described as volatile. People were ready to party, and although they didn't feel like it anymore, they still decided to drink. My brothers Peter, David, Jenny (bros), Jacob and Sam Stepp decided to seek comfort and food at Rudy's Pizza, where we cashed-in the Wetzel discount for some Guiness and Beef-and-Sausage slices. The effect was an immediate rise to our spirits, and we convinced our friend Tim to drive his scooter up and down Mass. Street with Stepp sitting on the back, proudly waving his giant new KU flag. It was heroic, and inspiring, kind of like the end of Braveheart.

Speaking of heroic endings, I'm going to sign off now with some nice little Haikus for yous

spring is the season
when I'm hit by a monsoon
with waves of haiku

Vernal equinox
vestal virgins balance eggs
on their countertops

out in the country
hidden highways one can find
only by lightning

a secret clubhouse
like something from a children's
paperback novel

swinging singing chains
the green fuse is drunk-driving
Dylan's golden age

the moon is waxing
blooming dogwoods thought patterns
brightly develop

Elliot asks us
Is April the cruellest month?
maybe for Jesus

she went far away
she went to be with the whales
summer, she returns

Apollinaire says
springtime causes unfaithul
lovers to wander

The Jayhawks wonder
how long must March Madness last?
wait another year