death by crossbow

While discussing the alarming murder rate in KCMO tonight at Chez Charlie's with Red I decided I was going to have someone shoot me through the heart with a crossbow bolt at 11:59:59 on New Year's Eve so that I will be the last official homicide of the year, and because the nature of my death will be so bizarre in comparison to the hundred-odd shootings, 10 stabbings, 5 bludgeonings and several unknowns the story will make the papers nationwide so everyone will be tuned in and sympathetic about the violence taking place in our fair metro area and possibly these sympathetic readers and government leaders will even turn to brainstorming about how to make things better, because the signs they're putting up along Troost don't seem to be helping much.