Red vs. Best Picture

R: So I went to see this absolutely awful film tonight with my wife. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I even saw it.

L: What was it?

R: It's called Slumdog Millionaire

L: The same Slumdog Millionaire that won Best Picture?

R: Yes. It is quite possibly the worst film that I have ever seen.

L: I knew you wouldn't like that movie. You automatically hate every rags-to-riches movie set in a foreign country and done by a Western director.

R: I hated that favela movie, too.

L: City of God? I know. You told me many times. But go ahead, I want to hear why you didn't like Slumdog.

R: The entire plot is this kid from the slums of Mumbai goes on a game show and knows the answer to every question because he spent his entire life chasing after some whore.

L: What's wrong with that?

R: That's terrible! Imagine if it was the exact same plot, only it took place in suburban Boston with Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney. You would hate it.

L: Okay, but what if Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney were in it, but it still took place in the slums of Mumbai?

R: (contemplates) So the film would be the exact same, except Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney would be acting out the lead roles, even during the childhood sequences, entirely without explanation...

R&L (in unison, more or less): Now that's a movie I would pay to see.