Ice Cream Gets On Your Face

Life lately has been a veritable McFlurry of activity. Maybe you have heard the old jazz standard, "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes," (used as a theme song for early generation smoking ban proponents). Well the modern-day version of this chart for my friends is "McFlurry Gets On Your Face." Hey, did you know you can now rent movies at McDonald's? Yes, it only costs one dollar (per night). And you can drop them off at McDonald's anywhere, including Albany, Missouri. The catch is that McDonalds employees, especially in rural areas such as Albany where the locals are not familiar with DVDs, have had a hard time incorporating digital video disc technology into their customer service. This has resulted in several hilarious but deadly scenarios including people being served DVD on a Big Mac bun and shards of disc in their french fries. Even more alarming, some people have even reported opening up their drive-thru bag only to find their double cheeseburger pressed between the bulging covers of a plastic DVD case. McDonalds has shown their willingness to be technologically innovative, but no one said it would be easy...

At the McDonalds yesterday, kids were still lighting off fireworks, and the playpen reeked of gunpowder while country kids smoked cigarettes. This gave us the idea to market a brand of cigarette called "Black Cat Lights." You could smoke it and at some point it would detonate, mildly. This would allow people to play high-risk party games such as "Russian Roulette Cigarette."

The McDonalds yesterday was also in a state of emergency, as they were plumb out of lots of essentials until the truck arrived that night.



This blog is kind of in the same shape. Many of you have expressed amazement at the breadth of topics covered on this amateur Web page, but surely none of you are naive enough to think it's all entirely original material. No, sir, to keep this site going at the rate of at least one post per week I must hire barely trained English undergrads in community colleges across the nation to ghostwrite my material. But given the floods, Jackson County street violence and hostile takeover of K-Dot turnpike shacks by vultures, the material does not always make it through in a timely manner. For this I apologize.

There is indeed much to ketchup on here in mcbloggyville. The Fourth of July always brings a wave of musings on what it means to be an American, what it means to be free. I promise to serve up a nice cold 44oz rhapsoda once the smoke clears.


thanks to cate for top foto