Hex appeal

Editor's note: with the onset of October, this site will be indulging in a large number of Halloween-related posts. Earlier today, I had posted a movie review of a short educational film designed to teach high schoolers about the dangers of heroin, but I decided to go with something less macabre to kick off my favorite month of the Gregorian calendar.

This summer, a friend of mine was supposed to attend what she called a "witch camp" somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. Unfortunately, she didn't wind up being able to go. Regardless, the idea of a "witch camp," whatever that is, stuck in my head. If there's a witch camp, than surely there's a fashion camp out there somewhere. I started to wonder what it would be like if a candidate from each camp did an exchange (A witch goes to fashion camp, and vice versa). So far, I have only written an article about the first scenario. However, I would certainly welcome a submission about a beauty queen going to witch camp. I think this drawing works either way.

Witch Goes to Beauty Camp

The first thing the witch did when she got to fashion camp was stick the handle of her broomstick in the beauty fan. When the photographer rushed over to ask what in Hades she thought she was doing, she told him she thought her bangs would look better flat against her forehead.

The photographer, who was already irritated at having to spend valuable time photographing a witch, was about to launch into a tirade when he noticed something peculiar about her. "Oh, my...your black dress is offset perfectly by your green skin," he said, brushing a strand of blue/black hair back from her blemished forehead.

The witch remained nonchalant, remarking simply, "If I must pose, I would prefer to do so au naturel. I want the world to see me, warts and all."

She is known only as Witch, and she is the fashion world's newest sensation. Within days of her arrival at Fashion Camp early last summer, Witch has landed a number of lucrative endorsement deals. Her leap from the pages of Goethe's Faust onto the glossy covers of some of the most high-profile glamour mags in the world has been remarkable, and so far she claims to be enjoying herself.

"A black mass on Walpurgisnacht is not terribly different than the launch party for a designer's new line, aside from the beverages. Personally, I find a lot that is hideous, beautiful, and a lot that is beautiful, hideous. It can be difficult to tell exactly who is posing in the shadows of whom."

The fashion press has seized on the candid crone's remarks, citing her "hex appeal" and crediting her with the invention of "wicked chic." Many glamour specialists say "wicked chic" offers a viable alternative to young women tired of the druggy waif look that has dominated magazines since Kate Moss was a teenager. Also, Witch's arrival on the scene is just in time for fall styles, which rely heavily on cutesy skeletons and other traditional Halloween imagery.

"There's something supernaturally sensuous about the way Witch walks down the catwalk with her black cat beside her," said Cleo Hirschberg, an editor for Fazshion Magazine. "Never in all of my days as a fashion correspondent have I seen such an enchanting combination of awkwardness and aplomb."

Miss Witch herself appears rather nonplussed by all the hoopla surrounding her sudden iconic status. "I'm going to live as long as Methuselah, so it's all very much the same to me. I'll still be zipping around on my broom when Louie Vuitton's great-grandkids are six feet under."

The witch's unnatural beauty and candor have won her a place at the top of the fashion world, but there have also been uncomfortable moments. "At one of the press parties, a bigwig designer proposed a toast to her," reporter Hirchberg recalls. "He asked her what her poison was, and everyone just gasped when she answered 'frog's wine.' They all laughed, though, when Witch explained that Frog's Wine is just an old sailer's term for gin."