This Better Not Be Your Life

Ever wonder if anybody cares? From time to time, I think we all do. But don't worry. Somebody does care.

Specifically, "Operation Somebody Cares" cares.

I know, because when I was riding the bus the other day I found one of those little religious booklets on the floor. You know the kind — cheap, poorly illustrated, and designed to let you know how deathly important it is that you renounce your sinful ways and start praying to Jesus/Joseph Smith/Xenu, etc.

The booklet, entitled "What Is Your Life Story," was a part-Revelations, part-"Christmas Carol" tour through the life of a lustful, materialistic gentleman who is lead by an angel through the follies of the various stages of his life. There's some pretty heavy shit here, from fiery angels to grim reapers. A more accurate title might even be "Operation Somebody Scares."

I looked through the book and read various passages out loud to Jenn and my fellow bus riders, most of whom were either asleep, not innarested or just feigning sleep/disinterest because they were so scared. I have since discovered that you can read the whole thing here, but while I was still on the bus I did a bit of editing to condense the booklet down to its essence. I hope you get something out of it, because it sure as shit spoke to me.


(click to enlarge)