While I'm posting children's drawings, I might as well post this fake grade school yearbook page I drew and gave copies of to my real classmates in the spring of 1992. I was thinking of it the other day, and while shuffling boxes around tonight, it popped up. All characters are originals, except for a few like Arnold, Daniel, Paul and Zordack, who are clearly celebrity-influenced. Shirley, in the upper right corner, was our bus driver. Ms. Jackson has nothing to do with the Outkast song, predating it by several years. Xavier X looks like a tooth. More up-to-date artwork coming soon!
I was so madly in love with Prissy, and we even dated for a while, but when her parents refused to let me escort her to the Jewel Ball in '99, I knew I didn't have a prayer
ReplyDeleteIf Ralph and I had a child together, it would be Big Boy Tom
ReplyDeleteAccording to Answers.com, I will marry Louise von Mecklenburg-Strelitz on Heilige Abend, 1793
ReplyDeleteWilhelm III, do I really look Prussian to you?
ReplyDeleteMy eyebrows in this photo look like the death-portending blackbirds in Van Gogh's final painting
ReplyDeleteVan Sinclair, for having such springy, set-apart eyeballs, you are remarkably narrow-sighted. The Jewel Ball never mattered to me, it was just my parents...You know how they were. There was nothing I could do. And for the record, I never stopped loving you. I just stopped hoping. Maybe I was wrong? I wish life could always end like a Cameron Crowe film, but unfortunately my debutante afterlife more closely resembles the puking scene in Eugenides' "Virgin Suicides." Van Sinclair, if only you could hold my hair back just one last time...
ReplyDeleteBury my heart at Westwood View
ReplyDeleteThough I still sit in with the elementary school string quartet once in a while, my favorite original composition of the last 36 hours has to be my "All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front
ReplyDeleteFangs" bagatelle in D Major.
oh wow maestro can I provide handclaps!?
ReplyDeleteRalph you fool, there are no handclaps in this bagatelle!
ReplyDelete"Thus says the Lord God: "Clap your hands, and stamp your foot!" -Chapter 6 vs. 11
ReplyDeleteYou tell 'em Zeke!
ReplyDeleteGalileo? Figaro? I can see that someone's been listening to Queen!
ReplyDeleteOf course. Everyone knows fifth-graders sip bohemian rhapsoda through curly-cue straws.
ReplyDeleteI can fly. I can fly. I can fly. I can fly. I can fly.
ReplyDeletesilly swirly-eyed peter pan/he never leaves never-never land
ReplyDeleteMy first name should be Oil, because that's what I drank for breakfast
ReplyDeleteI bear a startling resemblance to RS Wells, famed south american explorer and author of the noted academic treatise, "the corpuscularity of being." http://hearmynuts.blogspot.com
ReplyDeletesend me the Bill
ReplyDeleteI don't think so Sue
ReplyDeleteI mean I don't think sue...LOL!
ReplyDeleteOh yes I remember you children. You used to sing that song about ferns every bus Friday fieldtrip we ever had. How did it go?
ReplyDeleteFerns/They're Neat/They're Cool/They're Rad/They Can Drive A Car/You Can Put 'Em in the Dryer/You Can Turn 'Em Even Higher/But They're Still My Little Ferns To Me
Ferns/They're Neat/They're Cool/They're Rad/They Can Drive A Car/You Can Put 'Em in a Tree/You Can Sting 'Em With a Bee/But They're Still My Little Ferns To Me
Enhanced Learning my ass! If I hadn't been arraigned on child abuse charges and forced to resign my job, I might have wound up being charged with something even worse!
Crocket swore he'd wear his Coonskin for our yearbook photo. Just look at that bastard giggle. The Alamo will be nothing compared to the kind of suffrin he'll experience once I get my hands on him!
ReplyDeleteBoone, you tool!
ReplyDeleteI don't know if my namesake would be thrilled or upset that the electro-pop band the Broadcast borrowed the title of their most recent LP, "Tender Buttons" from her book of poetry without listing her in the liner notes. And I don't really even care. All I know is that their endearing melodies, female vocals and sonic textures are so tender that they do in fact succeed in pushing my buttons!
ReplyDelete"The traditionalists of plagiarism!"
ReplyDelete